Reactivated!

I haven’t been putting a lot of stuff in this “time-cap-blog-of-mine” lately. My excuse: been too BUSY!

Too busy to:

-back up my hard drive

-organize my digital pictures and save multiple copies in DVDs

-submit my graduate school STAT requirement

- submitmy graduate school MEDIA requirement

and tons of other stuff on my TO DO list which isn’t really my Bucket List. *sigh*

There’s breakthrough however, as I have been available on twitter and meebo for online consultations (although my students just make chika) and the succesful site migration.

Therefore, this loyal bloglet of mine here in .i.ph is once again a time capsule for my random rants (note there is now a separate English Notebook online for all my class requirements and announcements.)

My mid-year mantra:

I’ll spare (or steal) time to update!

Prof. P 

MY CITY: A stroll down Heroes Hills (REPOST)

Prima ballerina goes back to her QC roots

By Cora Lucas
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 22:45:00 11/01/2008

Filed Under: Family, People

Alexandra Petri: Talkin ’bout ‘my’ generation

Call us Generation I. I for irony, iPhones and the Internet. I for instant gratification. I for idiosyncratic, inventive, impertinent.

- Alexandra Petri talking about her generation

See full column here:

http://www.startribune.com/opinion/commentary/106130368.html?elr=KArksLckD8EQDUoaEyqyP4O:DW3ckUiD3aPc:_Yyc:aUvDEhiaE3miUsZ

The Future of English - reBlogged from Linguistics Expert Dr. McKenzie

For many years now we have been referring to English as a global language, as the language of communication and technology. Everybody seems to be learning English and it isn’t uncommon to see English being used as a means of communication between, let’s see, a German scientist and an Italian politician. These days, if you don’t know English, you are in danger of being excluded from what’s going on ­ in education, at work and especially in the world of technological advances.

Very soon English will be the second language of all the people in the world. This is happening while I am speaking to you. We can’t be certain of how long the process will take but there is no doubt that it will happen and my bet is that it will happen sooner rather than later.

First of all English will be an obligatory subject on every school curriculum throughout the world. By the year 2010 around two billion people that’s about a third of the World’s population will speak English as their second language. This isn’t my prediction by the way. This is what the experts say.

We can see evidence of these changes all the time. Let’s take the Eurovision Song Contest as an example. Whatever we might think of the contest itself, one thing that has changed recently is that now countries can opt to sing in English. In the last festival fourteen of the twenty­five competing countries asked for the rules to be changed to allow them to sing in English. They argued that singing in their own language would put them at a disadvantage. I suspect that in a few years time all twenty­five countries will be singing in English.

And what exactly does all of this mean for native speakers of English? Well, we are already in a minority. If the calculations are correct, then in ten years time, majority speakers ­ that is non­native English speakers ­ will outnumber native English speakers by four to one. The two most important Englishes won’t be British English and American English. They’ll be Native English and Majority English. So native English speakers will be handicapped. We will be the only people in the world who speak just one language. Because, let’s face it, there won’t be much of a reason for native English speakers to learn a second language. We, and not the majority English speakers, will be the disadvantaged.

As more and more people speak English, it makes sense that they will become more competent. They will start to control more of the English resources being produced and to have a say in what should or shouldn’t be included in dictionaries and language books. This might seem far fetched but it is already starting to happen. Let’s use Sweden as an example. Their music exports ­ predominantly English ­ account for more than thirty per cent of their export income. This exported English is bound to have an effect on English in general. And this is just one small example.

So all of you native English speakers out there, get ready to throw away your phrase books. Whether you’re planning to visit Eastern Europe or the Himalayas, one thing you won’t have to worry about is the language!

Sources:

haarrr.wordpress.com. (n.d.). haarrr.wordpress.com. Retrieved November 4, 2010, from http://www.haarrr.wordpress.com

The Future of English. (n.d.). http://www.learnenglish.org.uk . Retrieved November 4, 2010, from www.learnenglish.org.uk

* used this as a Listening Exercise for my ESL Classes.

More Instructional Materials available at   www.haarrr.wordpress.com

education for all; education for a better life

@ProfKathyP now tweeting!

And God Made The First Teacher…

God made the teacher more durable than other people. The teacher was made to rise at 5:30 am and go to bed no earlier than 11:30 pm - with no rest in between.

The teacher had to be able to withstand being locked up in air-tight classroom for five hours with forty fourth-graders on a rainy Monday. and the teacher had to fit correcting 200 (only??) papers over the Christmas vacation.

Yes, God made the teacher tough, but gentle too. The teacher was equipped with soft hands to dry the tears of the second grader whose pet goldfish drowned the night before, or those of the 13-year old boy who wasn’t invited to the party Dino was giving.

And unto the teacher God poured a generous amount of Patience. Patience - when a student asks to repeat the direction the teacher has just repeated for someone else. Patience - when one - third of the class fails a test. Patience - when the textbooks haven’t come and classes start tomorrow.

And God gave the teacher a heart that is slightly bigger than the average human heart. For the teacher’s heart had to be big enough to love the kid who screams, “I hate this class - it’s boring” and not to leave the student who runs out of the classroom at the end of the year without so much a “goodbye” let alone a “thank you”.

And lastly, God gave the teacher an abundant supply of HOPE, for God knew that the teacher would always be hoping. Hoping that the kids would someday learn how to spell, hoping that just for one day no one’s zipper would get stuck, hoping not to have bus watch, hoping that Fridays would come on Thursday and most of all, always hoping for more pay. 

When God finished creating the teacher, He stepped back and admired the work of His hands. And God saw that the teacher was good. VERY GOOD!

And God smiled, for when he looked at the teacher, He saw into the future. God saw that His only begotten Son would someday come to the earth and live among men, And He too, would be called “Teacher”.

Dugyot nga ba ang mga Pinoy?

 (Too late for Buwan ng Wika, I know, but at such time that I was thinking about this stuff, I was contemplating on this in straight tagalog, so please allow me to test my straight Filipino speaking (and writing!) skills as I have been once invited to teach the Filipino subject for one sem due to lacking manpower (for that subject) and I so boldly declined! Like I said, Filipino teachers can teach English but English majors will have a hard time teaching the Filipino subject. Di ho ba Binibining Bartolome?) Let’s see how long and how well  I can construct sentences without shifting to English or creating Tag-lish sentences!

*note that some of the words inside parentheses with a question mark are my feeble attempts to actually “Tagalize” the word.

Kagabi ako ay napadpad sa SM Manila para sa isang appointment. (Dang! What’s appointment in tagalog?)

 Pauwi ako ay napadaan sa Liwasang Bonifacio, (ba iyon?) hindi ako sigurado kung iyon nga iyong Liwasang Bonifacio na tinatawag nila o kung ang Liwasang Bonifacio ba ay yoong Post Office na may napakagandandang harapan. (I was meaning to say “façade!”) Yung lugar ay nasa harap lamang ng SM City Manila at katabi o katapat ito ng Manila City Hall.

Oo, inaamin ko na ako ay taga-siyudad, pero ang buong bulko ng buhay ko ay iginugol sa paglaki sa Siyudad ng Quezon (QC!). Ako ay nagtrabaho at mas pamilyar ako sa Makati, Quezon City at Ortigas pero hindi ko gamay ang Maynila. Hanggang Quiapo lang ang pinakamalayong narrating ko sa Maynila sa pamamagitan ng jeepney. Lagpas doon, siguradong mawawala na ako. Sa mga gilid gilid na lugar gaya ng Dapitan o kung kumaliwa o kumanan ka man sa mga gilid gilid na daan ng España, siguradong maliligaw na ako. Oo narating ko na ang Baywalk at siguro mas malayo pa sa Quiapo pero hindi sa pamamagitan ng pampublikong sasakyan o sa sarili kong kakayahan na mag-commute, mas madalas na may ibang nagmamaneho o nagdadala sa akin kung kaya naman naka-asa na lamang ako doon at syempre, hindi ako naliligaw.

Sa maikling salita, hindi ko alam ang pasikot sikot ng Maynila kumpara sa aking kaalaman sa mga pasikot sikot sa Ortigas, Makati at Quezon City. Naalala ko bilang bata noon, nakakatakot ang Maynila. Para sa mga maliliit kong mata noon, ang Maynila ay may imahe ng kadumihan, mabaho at maraming snatser.

Sa aking pagtanda, nalaman kong may malaki pala akong interes sa pagbiyahe, sa mga antigo, mga luma at historical na bagay, bahay o anu mang arkitektura. Ang laki ng panghihinayang ko sa kawalan ng interes ng bansa natin ayusin ang mga historikal na arkitektura na makikita lamang sa siyudad gaya ng The MET - hindi yung sikat na pampaputi, yung Metropolitan Theater na may arkitekturang art deco inspired ni Juan Arellano. Noong isang taon ko lang napagtanto na dito pala pinapalabas ang weekly show ni Ate Vi. Oo, Vilmanian ako. At 1981 lang ako ipinanganak.

(sa itaas: kuha ng The Met mula sa aking selphone. in the brightness of the afternoon sun, I didn’t realize my phone was set to BW mode. Admire the architecture and the sculpture on top. For those who do not know, just Google about its present condition, history, before and after and maybe even some interior pics)

Mahilig ako sa mga lumang bahay at sa aking isipan tuwing ako ay nakakakita ng isa, iniisip ko ito ng “black and white” sa aking isip at kung paano ito nakatagal sa subok ng panahon. Iba pa diyan ang pakiramdam ko kung mahahawakan ko maski man lang ang mga pader nito. Kaya nga aliw na aliw ako sa mga lumang bahay sa Vigan at sa mga lumang arkitekturang makikita ko sa Maynila na nakatayo pa. Marami din diyan sa may Navotas at Malabon. Yun nga lang, hindi na masyadong pinahahalagahan.

(sa itaas: lumang Spanish bulding sa other side ng Post Office. sa ibaba: Merlion sa labas ng gate ng Binondo. O di ba parang Singapore?!)

Naisip ko din na mas nakakabiyahe ako sa ibang lugar sa labas ng bansa ngunit hindi ko man lang ma-kumpletong puntahan  ang lahat ng mga lugar dito sa Maynila, o dito sa Pilipinas. Ironic kung isipin na mas napaplano kong bagtasin ang iba’t – ibang lugar sa Asya ngunit hindi man lang ako makalagpas ng Manila City Hall, ni hindi ko nga alam kung paano pumunta sa Malate noon at nung isang araw ko lang nalaman na ang Malate Church ay nasa likod lang pala ng paborito kong Aristocrat Restaurant sa may Baywalk at may daanan pala (noong lumagpas na ako sa aking dapat babaan, first time ko ding mag-jeep noon na lagpas pa sa Manila City Hall) ng mga jeep doon. Maaring madilim na kase tuwing pumupunta kami sa Aristocrat.

Napaka haba na ng aking inroduksyon (at malamang I have digressed?) bumalik tayong muli sa Liwasang Bonifacio, kung saan ako galing kagabi. Pagkatapos ng aking kailangang asikasuhin sa SM Manila, ako ay nagcommute pauwi. Linakad ko ang mala-parke na lugar kung saan nga may Bonifacio sa harapan. Sa gabi, itong parke na ito ay mailaw at may mga nagtitinda sa gilid ng mga selpon accessories, charger at mga iba pang anik anik. Pagkatapos nito ay may mga nakalinyang nagtitinda ng mga pagkaing pang kalye. Sunod-sunod sila sa iisang hilera.

Malamang fishballs at sopdrinks ngunit mas malaki ang kanilang mga kariton o stalls. May nakita din akong nakatusok na mahaba (parang uod) na piniprito, hindi ko alam kung ano yun, malamang bituka, kung kanino o ng anumang hayop, yan ay hindi ko na alam at hindi ko na naitanong pa. Hamo’t magtatanong ako sa susunod.

Sa konsepto ng nakita ko, naihalintulad ko sya sa Snack Street ng Taiwan ngunit mejo malayo pa ang itsura nito ng konti sa nakita ko dahil hindi naman ganun karami yung nagtitinda ng mga pagkain, pero sa isipan ko, parang ganun at papasa na din.

Masarap dito sa Pilipinas. Ang isa sa mga paborito kong pastaym dito ay ang tumingin sa mga tiangge na animo’y turista sa sarili nyang bayan habang kumakain ng finger food.

Lumagpas pa ako para matunton ang harapan kung nasaan si Bonifacio dahil nandoon ang sakayan ng mga dyip pauwi sa amin. Tuloy din ang aking pagkausap sa sarili.  

Maganda ang lugar at sinubukan ko itong tignan sa mga mata ng isang banyaga na kunwari ay bumabiyahe sa Pilipinas gaya halimbawa nung ako naman ang banyaga na bumabiyahe sa ibang lugar sa Asya.

Patawarin po kung ngayon lang ako nakapunta sa lugar na iyon kung saan madalas na nilalakaran at dinadaanan lamang ng mga tao at maikokonsiderang ordinaryo lamang para sa iba. Walang espesyal.

Ngunit may angking ganda ang lugar. Siyempre pa, naiayos na malamang ang flooring nito sapagkat ito ay may pagka moderno, mala-brick steps o kung ano man yun na sya ding ginamit sa Siyudad ng Quezon sa pag-ayos ng mga sayd-woks (sidewalks) ng Tomas Morato. Ang mga hagdan (steps) sa harap ng Bonifacio arkitektyur ay mala-marmol. Makinis. Animo’y madulas.

Siyempre, madaming nakaupo. Halos lahat sila, mga koleyihong estudyante mula sa uBelt. Biyernes noon. Akinse. Sweldo. Matao ang lugar, may mga tambay lang at may mga dumadaan lamang patungo sa kani-kanilang patutunguhan.

Nakakaaliw ang lugar dahil papasa siya na isang lugar na pwedeng pwede ngang pagtambayan lamang gaya ng Central Park sa New York kahit na maliit lamang itong bersyon na ito sa Maynila at wala namang sapa (lake) gaya ng Central Park. Mangilan ngilan lang sa tingin ko kase ang mga lugar sa Maynila na (conducive?) sa paglalakad, ehersisiyo, pagbabasa sa labas langhap ang (sariwang) hangin o kung saan pwedeng maglaro ng habulan ang mga bata. Mga lugar na malalapit na at (readily available) sa mga tao na hindi na sila kailangan pang pumunta sa Luneta o UP sunken garden.

Masarap umupo at tumambay sa mga isteps. Para lamang ito yung mga isteps ng Palma Hall sa UP Diliman o ng UPLB Humanities building kung saan tinatambayan ng mga estujante kapag tapos o bago ang kani-kanilang mga klase o kaya naman kung may hinihintay.

Nakakalungkot lamang ang tumambad sa akin. Ang dumi ng lugar kung saan may mga nakaupo. Ang mga kalat ay malamang  iniwan ng mga taong minsan ay tumambay doon na walang pakialam. Siyempre, wala akong dalang (point and shoot) kamera. Selpon lang ang dala ko. Mahirap na ding bigla namang kumuha na lang ng letrato dahil akinse noon. Ingat sa isnatser at mandurukot.

Isa pang ayaw ko sa Maynila, ang mga tao kapag kailangang makialam -  walang pakialam pero kapag hindi naman kailangan makialam ay doon naman sila nakikialam.

Kapag ako kumukuha ng letrato para sa aking mga “Travelogues” madalas ay hindi masyadong (noticeable?)  ang aking mga paksa. Malamang din na medyo unyuswal (unusual) ito para sa iba na kung saan maitatanong nila, “Ano kaya ang kinukuhanan ng letrato ng babaeng ito?.”

Gayon nga, ang tumambad sa akin ay ang dumi ng lugar. Mga plastic mula sa mga inumin  at may istraw sa loob. Mga pinagkainan, papel at balat. Nakakalungkot.

(sa itaas: kuha mula sa Samsung Corby. Mas makalat yan up close, pati dun sa gilid na matao. Masdan ang kalat sa sahig. Sa ibaba: Manila City Hall Clock Tower at night. At least maganda, mailaw at umaandar. Kung malinis lamang ito, papasa na ito parang Avenue of the Stars sa Hong Kong, matao iyong lugar na yun pero malinis!)  

Kaya pagkatapos kong kumuha ng letrato ng patago, at pagsakay ko ng dyipney pauwi, itinanong ko sa aking sarili, “Dugyot nga ba talaga tayong mga Pilipino?”

Ang salitang dugyot ay madalas kong naririnig sa aking ina noong ako ay bata pa kapag sinasabi nyang ayaw nyang dugyot kami sa aming mga gamit, sarili, katawan, pananamit at bahay. Basta lumaki na lamang ako na ang pagkakaintindi ko sa salitang dugyot ay madumi. Marahil itong salitang ito ay salitang balbal sa Filipino (na nagmula sa ng mga Ilokano.) Tama ho ba, Bb. Bartolome?

Syempre, tayong mga Pinoy kapag sinasabihan ng ganito, nasasaktan. I-post mo ito sa yahoo–fit-to-post malamang sa malamang, maraming magagalit o maraming magiging depensib diyan. Siyempre pa, malamang ako rin. Pilipino yata ako – at hindi lang basta Pinoy kung hindi Proud Pinoy!

Ngunit paano tayo uunlad o uusad kung hindi mag-dedevil’s advocate ang ilan upang punahin ang mga mali. Tayo kasing mga Pinoy ayaw nating makita yung mga pangit sa atin, pero nakikita natin yung pangit sa iba. Wala ng kokontra!

Muli, sa aking pagtatanong sa sarili, dugyot nga ba tayong mga Pinoy?

At eto na ang itinakbo ng aking isipan habang naghihintay pa ng mga pasahero si Manong dyipney driver at ang ingay ingay ni Kuya Barker sa pag-promote ng Muñoz- Proj.8 na dyip.

Hindi dugyot ang mga Pinoy, sa katunayan, tayo nga lang ang mga taong ligo ng ligo at hindi makatagal sa isang araw na hindi naliligo.

Mainit kase ang bansa natin kaya pinakakonti na sa isang araw ang pagligo ng 2 beses. Ultimo mga nakatira sa kalsada naliligo, kahit pa dun mismo sa kalsada. Nakikita natin, naliligo sila. Mabango tayong mga Pilipino.

Syempre maraming lahi na ang aking naturuan. Nagtuturo din ako sa iskwelahan ng lingwahe kung saan iba’t – ibang lahi ang nagsisipag-enroll at sila ay ipinadadala ng kani-kanilang mga diocese mula pa sa ibang bansa para mag-aral ng Ingles, o ng iba mga lingwahe gaya ng Ilokano, Cebuano, Kapampangan at iba pa, depende sa kung saan sila tutungo o sa kung anong lugar sila dadalhin ng mga misyon nila bilang misyonero.

Nakapagturo na ako ng Ingles sa Hapon, Intsik, Koreano, Swiso, Pranses, Cameroonian, Aprikano, Indonesian, Nepalese, Arabo, Persiano, Indyan, Taga-Bangladesh, Burmese, Español, at kaunting Tagalog siguro sa mga misyonero mula sa Fiji Islands atbp. Pramis! May mga letrato pa kami.

Basta ang masasabi ko lang, mabango ang mga Pilipino dahil sa tayo lamang ang nakakayanang maligo sa ibang bansa kahit pa sa panahon ng niyebe. Kung saan ang mga ibang tao ay namamangha na papasok tayo na basa ang buhok natin at nakaligo tayo kahit winter doon.

Amazed na amazed din ang estudyante kong mas mabuti na lang kung hindi ko banggitin ang lahi dahil ayaw ko namang maka-offend. Siyempre, wala namang tama o maling kultura and no culture is ever superior to others. Yan ang alam ko bilang guro. Bigla ko tuloy naalala ang isang batang ibang lahi na umaway sa co-titser ko na sinabing napaka primitibo daw nating mga Pinoy dahil “we eat with our hands” eh, sila kutsara’t tinidor daw ang gamit at they have over 400 years of History daw. Bago ninyo ako awayin, hindi po taga-UST ang estudyanteng ito,  taga-ibang bansa po ito, na gusto lamang sigurong awayin ang titser nya sa Health Care sa loob ng klase.

Malamang sa malamang, nakatikim lang ng Filipino hospitality itong batang ito mula sa mga bakasyon niya sa Cebu at Subic marahil kung saan tayo ay nagkakamay sa mga boodle fights or fests over a dahon ng saging as a plate. (Syet. Bakit nagging tag-lish?)

Pero totoo namang we eat with our hands diba? At we have two choices pa, magkamay o gumamit ng kutsara’t tinidor, pero alinman sa dalawang paraan ay parehong ginagamit ang kamay – ano pa nga ba?!

Syempre intelehente ang kaibigan kong gurong yun. Mula sa salitang pang-henerasyon ngayon, masasabi kong “he didn’t make patol patol with the arrogant estujante.” Napaka – propesyonal ni Ginoong Daclan, kahit na sa kuwento nya ay gusto na nyang umbagin yung estujanteng yun.

Mabalik tayo. May estudyante naman ako, noong panahong (mas) bata pa ako sa pagtuturo at palagi akong nagkakasakit, kung hindi naman ako liban sa klase (absent) ako naman ay huli (late). Ulirang Guro Awardee of the Year hindi ba?  Ngunit mabait naman ang aking estudyante na si Sister Teresita, (not her original name.) Kung anong lahi, pwes, hulaan nyo na lang.

Aliw na aliw si Sister Teresita na makita ang aking basang basang buhok tuwing pumapasok sa aming 7 am class. Sabi nya, kaya daw ako nagkakasakit eh dahil sa ligo ako ng ligo.

“Sa umagang-umaga ka pa naliligo, heto,” sabay bigay sa akin ng mala-ugat na kung ano man na nasa bote. Mayroon din siyang binigay sa akin na dry version nito na parang luya. Ihalo ko daw sa pinakuluang tubig. Pampalakas. Ginseng yun malamang. Note po. Hindi po Korean si Sister Teresita. Kayo talaga, makabasa lang ng ginseng!

Siyempre, hindi pwedeng tumanggi, ma-ooffend si Sister. Alam nyang mag-diagnose ng problema ng katawan sa pamamagitan lamang ng pag-mamasahe at kung ano ano pang mga posibleng solusyon dahil marami talaga silang alam na alternative medicine. Ooops, yun na!

Sabi ni sister hindi daw sila naliligo sa araw. Sa gabi lamang bago matulog. Napansin ko nga. Mabango naman si Sister. Shempre, madre at babae ito, hindi naman malikot at pawisin.

Sabi ko, (syempre sa Ingles)  “sister, kami po kase hindi po kami makalabas ng bahay kapag hindi po kami nakaligo. 2 beses pa po ang pinaka konting pagligo namin, naliligo kami bago pumasok, pag-uwi at. bilang paglilinis sa sarili, bago matulog.”

“Pero kami, bago lamang matulog. Kita mo hindi kami madalas magkasakit.” Sambid ni Sister.

Hmmm… na-attribute tuloy ni sister ang mga pagkakataong masama ang aking pakiramdam sa aking sapat lamang na pagligo. Hindi naman ako OC sa kalinisan, tamang-tama at saktong-sakto lamang. So I have enough viruses pa rin na makakatulong sa aking immunity. Oo, hindi maganda ang masyado at 100% na malinis sa katawan dahil ang kawalan ng virus ay nagpapahina sa immunity ng katawan, hindi na nito malalaman kung pano pupuksain ang mga sakit  dahil hindi sya pamilyar sa virus na ito. In analogy, para lamang bulutong tubig ang sistema natin. Pag katapos magkaroon, may nadedevelop din na immunity kahit paano. Pag kilala na ng immunity system natin ang virus, may mga alam din syang panglaban dito. Depende na lamang sa sistema natin kung malakas ba o hindi. Kaya para sa mga OC sa linis diyan, nakakasama din yun. iIka nga, too little or too much of something is always harmful.

Bakit din mas malakas ang mga immunity ng mga batang kalye kesa sa mga batang sobrang alagang alaga sa bahay? Mas madali masira ang tiyan ng mga baby na alaga sa bahay kumpara sa mga bata na pinalaki sa kalye.

O balik na uli kay sister. Sambid ni sister, “kase kami, pointless maligo sa umaga dahil pupunta kami sa trabaho namin, maghahakot kami ng dumi from the outside, kaya bago matulog dun kami naliligo, para masarap ang tulog namin.”

Naintindihan ko ito noong pumunta ako sa bansa nila sister sa isang biyahe.

Oo nga, pagka gising nila, hindi na sila naliligo. Kaya pala. Swerte na nga kaming mga guro noon kapag naghilamos man lang o nagtoothbrush ang aming mga estudyante. Pero dugyot para sa kanila ang matulog na hindi naliligo. Kadiri yun. Dapat maligo muna sila bago matulog. After all, it’s a whole day’s worth of accumulated dirt. 

Yung iba, ang pantulog na damit (na maayos naman at maganda at hindi pajama) ay sya na ring ipinampapasok o trabaho nila kinabukasan. O hindi ba, kaya pala lagi sila on-time, dire-direcho na! Wala ng bihis bihis pa!

Pero shempre, hindi natin mai-aaccount ito para sa kabuuan nilang society. Kase mangilan-ngilan lang naman na bahay o komunidad ang nakita ko. Hindi pa din lahat. Doing so would be making me similar to Mr. Daclan’s student thinking na mas superior tayo sa kanila. Mali naman iyon. At hindi iyon ang punto ko.

Balik tayo.

 Dugyot nga  ba ang mga Pinoy?

Sabi ng mga ibang lahi, na naging kaibigan ko naman din kaya nga nakakapag-usap kami ng mga ganito ka-sensitibong topic (sa totoo lang, mahirap maging guro ng wika sa iba’t ibang lahing estudyante. Lalo pa pag 40 silang lahat sa iisang klasrum. Mainit at de-elektrik fan pa. Naku, halos himatayin ako sa amoy, buti na lamang at nakadiskobre ako ng teknik. Maglagay ng white flower oil (mabibili sa suki ninyong Mercury Drug) sa ilalim ng ilong.

Mainam ng mahilo sa amoy ng liniment kesa sa amoy ng bawang at sibuyas!

May bonus pa nga paglabas ko ng klasrum dahil walang sinabi ang Noa Cacharel na perpyum ko, may panibago akong amoy pagkatapos! Kaya pala ganun na lamang ang sama ng tingin sa akin ng mga katabi ko sa dyipney tuwing pauwi ako pag Tth.

Eto na nga, sabi naman ng mga ibang lahi, lalo na nung mga Kano na nakikihalubilo sa mga Pinoy ng mas madalas sa ibang bansa, may amoy din daw naman ang mga Pinoy. Siguro lahat naman ng tao may amoy talaga. Hindi na lamang siguro natin naamoy ang ating mga sarili kase nga sarili natin yun.

Nang tanungin ko kung ano ang amoy natin, ang sambid nya ay, “malansa”

Hmmm… kako, “amoy isda?”  pero mas naintindihan ko sya noon nang matukoy ko  na ang amoy na gusto nyang tukuyin ay ang amoy natin kapag tayo ay pawis. Amuyin mo ang isang dyipney driver pag pawis (take note po, hindi ko inamoy ha, naamoy ko lang, siyempre pasahero, maamoy mo talaga lalo na pag nasa likod ka nya) at amuyin mo ang amoy ng isang damit na hindi natuyo ng maayos sa sampayan dahil umuulan. Ganung amoy. Ngunit very faint daw ito at malamang lumalabas lang pag pawis tayo. Depende pa rin siyempre sa tao, sa diet at sa hygiene.

Hindi ba nga ang isang tip pag bumibili ng pabango ay hayaan muna itong magtagal sa ating mga katawan upang humalo sa ating body chemistry? Dahil mag-iiba pa ang amoy nito at kung ano ang kinalabasan ng mix ng pabango na yun sa ating body chemistry ay ang magiging amoy natin kapag suot ang pabango na yun. Kaya ang Burberry Beat na pabango ng isang tao na amoy kape sa iba, ay maaring namang amoy citrusy sa iba, sa iba naman musky ang amoy.

Kaya pag bibili ng pabango, pagkatapos i-spray, umikot-ikot muna sa mall saka amuyin ito sa balat pagkalipas ng 30 minuto to 1 oras.  

Alam din natin na ang amoy ng tao ay maari ding magmula sa mga kinakain nito. Kaya may natural na amoy ang ibang lahi kahit hindi naman sila pinagpapawisan. Lalo na pag parte ng dyeta nila ang curry, chilli, lamb, camel atbp.

Ngunit ang amoy natin ay masasabi kong discreet lamang at hindi iskandaloso na tumitigil ang oras at trabaho kapag naamoy , katulad nga ng sibuyas at bawang. Sa totoo lamang, noong nilibre ko ang aking mga estudyante noong huling araw ng eksamin at semestre ng pizza, eh akala ko dumating na ang delivery kase nga nakaamoy ako ng sibuyas at bawang. Andun kase pala ang estudyante kong si _________.

Hindi ko din makalimutan kung papanong nakikipag karera ako sa pagsara ng pinto ng elevator kapag dadating na ang mga Sibuyas at Garlic natives sa isang building sa Ortigas, pero karma lang, inaabot pa din, at nakakahabol pa din sila. Ayan. Karma sa elevator!

Dugyot nga ba ang mga Pinoy?

At eto ang irony ng lahat.

Tayong mga Pilipino, malilinis tayo sa ating mga sarili. Sa katotohanan, palit  tayo ng palit ng damit. Iba ang damit sa pagpasok iba din ang pambahay, at para sa iba, malamang iba din ang pangtulog. May estudyante ako, isang linggo na, hindi pa din nagpapalit ng damit. Noong una iniisip ko baka naman talagang isang set lang ang biniling ganoong t-shirt ni brother. Pero hindi.

Wala nama akong kaso sa damit na paulit-ulit basta ba ito din ay paulit -ulit na nilalabahan. Alalahanin na ang mga mikrobyo sa ating katawan, mula sa pawis at mga skin secretions at maging ang mga nasasagap natin sa iba’t-ibang lugar sa ating paglabas ay nakakaapekto sa ating body odor. Kaya kailangang magpalit. Lalo na pag pinagpawisan ang damit.

Madaming instances nito sa mga estudyante ko. Yung iba mahirap lang, yung iba masyadong busy walang time maglaba, yung iba wala daw washing machine, yung iba iisa lang kase talaga ang uniporme nila. Wala naman akong issue sa mga issues nila. Ang issue ko lamang ay yoong 1 linggo ng suot  tapos sa sabado o linggo lamang lalabahan.  Swerte na lang yung damit kung nilabahan nga siya. Aba, ay pwede nang tumayo mag-isa yung damit sa tigas nun! At hindi ako nag-eexaggerate. Totoo po talagang may ganito sa ibang lahi.

Kaya nga sa aking mga briefing sa isang paaralan kung saan ako nay nagtuturo sa kolehiyo, (at ibang lahi pa rin ang aking mga estudyante mula sa Asya,) pagkatapos kong makuha ang kanilang loob ay aking tinatanong kung gumagamit nga ba sila ng deodorant.

Ang sambid nila ay, “kapag naglalaro lamang o kapag nag-gi-gym” Hindi ko na alam kung paano ko nasabing kailangan magsipag gamit sila nito kahit hindi sila maglalaro dahil ako ay araw-araw gumagamit nito.

Basta naituro ko iyon ng maayos at sa kabutihang palad ang babango ng mga estudyante ko nitong nakaraang semestr.e Kahit na kulob pa ang klasrum namin.

Naalala ko noon ang kamatay-matay na kombinasyon ng Sibuyas, Bawang at Drakkar Noir o kung ano mang pabango na gamit nila sa katawan nila.

Dugyot nga ba ang mga Pinoy?

 Hindi ko pa nai-emphasize ang punto ko pagtukoy sa irony ng lahat ng ito.

 Ang gusto kong sabihin ay, malinis tayong mga Pinoy sa ating sarili, sa ating katawan at maging sa ating mga bahay.

 Ayaw natin ng kalat sa ating mga bahay kaya ang kalat ay nilalabas natin. Pero kung saan natin ito ilagay sa labas ay wala na tayong pakialam BASTA ANG MAHALAGA sa atin WALANG KALAT SA LOOB NG BAHAY O MALAPIT SA ATIN. Bahala na sila dyan sa labas.

Kaya ba ganoon na lamang tayo magtapon o mag-iwan ng basura sa labas?

Sa ibang bansa baliktad. Lahat ng kalat nila nasa loob ng bahay. Maaring magulo o makalat sila sa loob ng bahay nila pero sa labas kailangan malinis sila o walang kalat.

So ano na ngayon ang mas maganda? Ang malinis sa panglabas pero makalat sa loob o malinis sa loob pero makalat sa labas?

Hindi ba pwedeng pareho? Best of both worlds?

Bakit ganoon na lamang ang Pinoy kung makapag-iwan ng kalat sa labas. Wala naman sigurong tututol kung sasabihin ko na lahat ng pampublikong lugar dito sa Maynila, walang araw na makikita siyang perfectly clean, liban na lamang siguro kapag katatapos lamang itong linisin ng mga naatasang street sweepers sa umaga

Naalala ko nung ako’y bata pa, panay din ang tapon ko ng basura sa labas ng bintana ng aking school bus ko na animo ba’y isang malaking basurahan ang labas ng aking school bus. Ngunit sa aking paglaki at pagbyahe biyahe mula sa murang edad natambad sa akin ang hiya na dungisan ang napakalinis na lugar na nasasaksihan ko sa ibang bansa sa Asya.

Hindi ba nga pag sobrang linis ng lugar, mahihiya ka namang basta basta na lamang magtatapon lalo pa at kapag nakikita mo na walang ibang tao na gumagawang magtapon na lamang ng basta basta. Ibang kaso din ang Singapore dahil doon, may karampatang parusa. Ang akin lang, hindi ba pwedeng innate na lang sa mga Pinoy ang hindipagtapon sa kung saan saan kesihodang meron o walang ordinansa na nagbabawal at mga karampatang parusa na ibinibigay sa mga bayolator? Na sana maging tanging motibasyon ang disiplina sa sarili hindi dahil sa may parusa o bawal pero dahil sa kahit sa ganoong mumunting paraan, nakakatulong tayo makarating doon sa pinapangarap nating Better Philippines.

Simula ng mahiya ako mula sa murang edad hanggang sa masanay na ako, ugali ko nang magbulsa ng mga balat ng kendi ko. Kahit malagkit na supot pa yan mula sa pinagkainan ko, sa bag ang punta niyan kapag wala akong makitang basurahan. Kahit pa sabihin ng mga kaibigan kong “iwan mo na lang yan diyan.” Bitbit ko pa din ang empty plastic cup na pinag-inuman ko, hanggang makakita ako ng tamang basurahan o makarating sa bahay.

Kaya ba iniiwan iwan na lang ng mga Pinoy ang kanilang basura dahil bas a pag-iisip na lagi namang may naatasang maglinis o pumulot nun eventually?

Ang pagkakalat sa liwasang Bonifacio ay okay lang dahil lilinisin din naman iyon ng mga street sweeper ni Mayor Lim at karapatan ko iyon bilang tax payer ng ating bansa? Aba, eh ang laki laki din naman ng tax na binabawas sa sweldo ko kada buwan at hindi biro yun kaya sige tapon lang?

Ang kalinisan ba ay konsepto lamang na para sa mga aral at nakapag-aral? Kase may mga street kids na naglalaro sa mga dumi ng Lliwasan at malamang sila din hindi  naturuan tungkol sa maayos na kapaligiran at pagtatapon.

Pero hindi eh. Dahil sa unibersidad kung saan ako nagturo noon, papasok ang mga estudyanteng Pilipino sa isang malinis na klasrum, makalipas ang isang oras, naiwan nagkalat at nakatiwangwang ang mga bote ng C2 o ng pinag-inuman at pinag-kainan.

Papasok sila sa isang malinis na klasrum, iiwan nila ng madumi. Hindi ko iyon maintindihan dahil ang basurahan ay nasa likod at labas lamang ng silid o nasa sulok lamang pero hindi na kakailanganin pang lumakad ng higit sa isang metro para makita ang basurahan.

Pero nakikita ko pa rin ang mga C2 bottles at pinagkainan sa ilalim ng mga silya, sa mga empty seats sa likod.

Lalong-lalo namang asar na asar ang mga estudyante ko sa next period kapag sila ang pinaglilinis ko ng kalat na tatambad sa amin sa susunod na klasrum kapag papasok na kami.

“Koleksyon ba ngayon sa Caloocan? Bakit ang daming basura dito?”

“Ma’am hindi po amin ang kalat na ito, ganito na po ito nung datnan namin.”

So wala kayong paki-alam? So okay lang na magklase tayo sa maruming silid? sabi ko sa aking sarili. Hmmm..

Simula nung nagsawa akong maghintay ng magkukusang pumulot o maglinis kahit pa hindi sa kanila ang kalat na iyon, ginagamit ko na lamang ang kapangyarihan ko bilang guro upang iutos na magkusa sila itapon ang mga basura sa sobrang lapit lamang na trash can. Siyempre ako din pumupulot. Sa katunayan, ako ang kusang nag-uumpisa. Practice what you preach ika-nga. Kapag may hiya ang mga bata, tutulong yan pero para sa (at mas madalas) walang pakialam, Aba eh pinagpulot nga talaga ng kalat si Ma’am!

Asar na asar ang mga estudyante pero iba ang usapan kapag may karampatang bonus points iyon sa aming quiz.

So kailangan may kapalit? Tila nga ba ang mga tao ngayon ay tinitimbang muna ang tanong na “what’s in it for me?” bago pa sila gumawa ng isang bagay na TAMA?

At lalo namang gusto kong ibalik ang isang estudyante sa sinapupunan ng nanay nya noong sagutin nya ako ng “Ma’am kapag nilinis po namin yan, wala na pong tratrabahuhin pa ang mga janitor natin. Sumusweldo sila wala namang ginagawa.”

Buti na lang “classy at may poise” ako! Ayun, tinitigan ko sya hanggang siya ay matunaw. Pero hindi siya natunaw, yumuko lang.

Take note na aral at nakapag-aaral ang mga taong ito ha.

O ngayon, sumagot kayo. Dugyot nga ba ang mga Pinoy?

Yan ang aking tanong sa blog-serye ko with the working title “Where has (this) the Filipino generation gone to?”

 Abangan!

FOR GRADES AND NEW ANNOUNCEMENTS GO HERE!

For all NEW ANNOUNCEMENTS, ASSIGNMENTS, ADDITIONAL WORK, REVIEWERS AND FOR POSTING YOUR MESSAGES

KINDLY BE INFORMED THAT I HAVE MIGRATED THE SITE TO HERE

Kindly be guided accordingly.

Thanks.

REVIEWERS AND SITE MIGRATION

Your reviewers are already uploaded, reason for the delay is also indicated therein as well as some other announcements.

Click HERE

or visit

http://englishnotebook.webs.com

I have migrated my MCU students to this site (as I have other sites for the other schools) this is for more ease of browsing, and higher storage space  the instruction demands.

For further uploads, exercises and announcements kindly go directly to that site or still visit this page for (manual) redirection.

Note that each section has been allotted a specific page so for your respective class’ announcements, all you have to do is click on your corresponding SECTION on the tabbed categories. At least no more scrolling down to look for your section’s announcements.

For your INSTRUCTION.

Thanks!

Freeze! Grammar Police posting for duty!!

Sick and tired of people using this phrase and still unaware of the proper preposition to use it with!

I just heard that Big Brother on TV recently thank a housemate-exchange “in behalf of all the Pinoys..”   I mean, yeah, sorry, I just said back in my classes a few months ago that I never really did enjoy that so-called “reality” TV series.. I have my own definition of what reality IS. That’s my opinion anyway.

I digressed.  Since not a lot of resources, grammar books and dictionaries would offer the clear cut terms in using this phrase..allow me to somehow enlighten everyone regarding the PROPER preposition combination..(besides, nowadays everyone can just google things off the net!)

is it ON behalf of or IN behalf of?

All my English students should know this, (otherwise you shall be banned by Mamita herself, and by now you should now who our Mamita icon is when it comes to the PROPER use of the English Language.. Senadora perfection herself!)

Use On behalf of when you are REPRESENTING a body, a group or someone

exempli gratia:

“On behalf of the Management, I thank you all for coming to this very important meeting”

Meanwhile, use  In behalf of when you do something for somebody else’s sake or for the benefit of somebody - be it a group or a person etc.

exempli gratia:

“We are collecting food and cash donations in behalf of the flood victims.”

So there! As Manny Pacquiao had put it - Now you know!

Additional Rule for all writing projects..

 No TEXTSPEAK in your PAPERS PLEASE!!

Teachers open the door. You enter by yourself

–Chinese Proverb

Garfield’s words of wisdom

“We all get heavier as we get older because there’s a lot more info in our heads. So I’m not FAT! I’m just really intelligent and my head couldn’t hold anymore so it started filling up the rest of me! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!”

Blue’s Clues and Da Vinci’s Theories

Dan Brown fanatics all around have been counting down to the premiere of what they claim to be this year’s greatest blockbuster, and I, finally, finished reading this fiction I’ve been putting off reading for two years.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not another Dan Brown fan. I just got curious, I mean who wouldn’t when the review said that the novel was an “Umberto Eco in a breathtaking thriller.” I just merely wanted to find out if all the ranting and raving on how excellently plotted this novel is, were all worth it. That and how the directors would visualize it in the reel (so I could make book to movie comparisons) - what was cut and what was not!

Normally, a devout religious would approach the book defensively but that’s too – too predictable!

Yes, I’m a fan of unpredictable action thriller movies, and by that I mean movies that actually make sense in the end and even some that are just plain baloney - for kicks!

I loved the book, not for the idea it introduced but for its sound creativity. By this I mean that the author was sharp enough to hook up secret society theories with famous historical figures and places. The outcome? A bestseller that encouraged people to read more, research more, inquire, doubt, and like a telenovela, watch for sequels and series following it.

I say Paris’ tourism department should pay Brown a hefty amount as his novel brings in a number of seekers, incidentally visiting places mentioned in his book in exact progression, as it was represented chapter by chapter, like some wild treasure hunt.

Obviously this movie will indeed generate a lot. It need no further promotion or advertising, incidentally if you flip on knowledge channels on cable, they are also scheduled to air documentaries on Da Vinci’s artworks - declassified. Interesting!

I’m proud to say I was mature and solid enough to approach the book as a detached reader just-passing-time-to-read-some-exciting-thriller-during-her-free-time. I used to be someone who can easily get carried away with the current book I’m immersed with. Though I bought a copy of the novel some two years ago, I never actually found the time to read it (and finish it) until now. I decided to finish reading it on the premise that I’d keep my mouth shut and ONLY react on it (yes, whether violently or constructively is an issue) a day after I’m completely over the last page of the book.

Take note - a day after. That gives me time to regain my peace, all that calm and sane comebacks.

I knew there had to be a reason as to why I kept putting the book off but I know I tackled the book with an unwavering faith. As one person on tv put it: If you’re so sure about your beliefs then you can read anything without feeling bad after. So true.

Yes, Brown was a great writer, yes he was artistic enough to give vivid descriptions of his characters’ capabilities, correlate paintings and ideas, and convince readers to think and agree on the same speculations he believed when he stumbled upon these wild presumptions doing his research on the holy grail – whatever that is. Clearly he was a believer of this grail conspiracy.

The book is good. Very imaginative and convincing – if you’re the type of person who can easily be swayed. Thank God for UP and it’s non-spoon-feeding- learn - to – be – critical, think – for - yourself slash formulate – your - own judgment educational system. Funny how no matter Brown revealed in his interviews and official site that his work on the the Da Vinci code was purely fiction, a lot of seeking sages (and non-sages alike) were still inquiring whether it was or wasn’t true. Hello? You heard it from the horse’s mouth yourselves!

Anyway, in the process of reading the book, I was ecstatic because the actual accounts of the majesty of the architectures involved were flamboyant enough to make me drool thus, including Paris and London in the list of my dream destinations before I die. That’s that.

It only made me want to see Westminster Abbey for myself, Newton’s grave, and gape at the carvings of the Roslyn chapel where Brown claims that a yet deciphered code holds the key to some underground dungeon with a sealed entrance (to which nobody knows where) and no other exit. Whatever that dungeon houses, we have no idea.

Did I ever tell you I have always been interested in archaeology? Or anything that has something to do with digging up (not corpses or graves) treasures or relics? It’s not about the value of these things but the feeling of awe coming across something that existed from hundreds of years back and was kept intact underground. As a child I’ve always been fascinated with time capsules and my ultimate dream is to dig up the church near the Mayon Volcano to find out what the city beneath it was like before Mayon went lava crazy. (To foreign readers: the Church at the foot of the Mayon Volcano rested deep into the hardened ground when the Volcano exploded some hundreds of years ago, presently only the church’s bell tower could be seen, I think they call this the Cagsawa Ruins.) Once I even had a terrifying dream that there were still people alive down there and they were continuing an underground city. Okay, enough!

Back to the book: It was claiming that everything Catholicism and Christianity have now is not of it’s own. From the dates of easter, Christmas and other church holidays up to the biblical characters and the God we worship, viz, Mary and Jesus = Isis and child etc. etc. etcetera.

Every idea on Christianity and Jesus worship were agreed upon by powerful entities in the old ages with the intention to gain power using a church uniting people to common beliefs as a vessel. One of the book’s arguments state that Jesus was only human but the early Vatican stripped the true bible of Jesus’ earthly character thus launching his career up as something divine. In short, the book was endorsing that the Nag hammadi, Gnostic gospels and other people in Jesus’ days who are able enough to write accounts were far more credible than the bible we carry today.

And that, if you still are seeking the veracity of the book’s claims, thou shalt not choose to believe the bible more when, like the presented presuppositions above, it is only man made much less, stripped off it’s original ideas – edited to the core to fit these leaders –wanna - be their ulterior motives on reign and power.

The hole, I think, that I saw for myself was that Brown was endorsing Pagan worship. He explicitly said that nothing out of modern religion was original, and in doing so, his character in the book said that it was more sound to believe in the original – the roots where everything originated – nature, and tadaah! – nature worship.

If Brown wants to talk to the sun, fine, let him. Don’t pressure the rest of us into doing that because I wouldn’t know exactly what the sun and I would be talking about, besides I’ve been avoiding the sun lately, thanks to my oversized shades and handy sunscreen. God gives me daily miracles while prolonged interaction with the sun can provide skin cancer, much less heat stroke!

Brown is bringing his readers back to nature and ancient Egyptian gods who were bored enough that they played embedded clues and symbolism games with their worshippers. People had to decipher codes back then to get their god’s message and voila! A hidden message giving them that elated nirvana-kind- of-feeling. (lol now). Care for me to introduce you to the God I worship that doesn’t beat around the bush and works in His perfect time? Feel free to shoot me an email!

As if the fans’ intensifying craving for the upcoming movie is not enough, Discovery channel will air Da Vinci declassified daily, in different timeslots this week. To pacify my surging curiosity I watched it last night. Yeah Leo was a grand genius, creative is an understatement.

I imagined if I had access to a time machine I would definitely check out how he paints. Does he paint freely, like a talented freehand artist, or does he sketch his latest mathematical finding (for the moment) first and finish up with his intended scenario on canvass? It turns out that some historians have observed that Da Vinci employs the divine proportion (one point six something something) in all of his works. For reference ask any mathematician you know about this (note that this divine proportion 1.6 something something, they say, can be found in the intracacies of the universe and nature, from the growth patterns of plants to the breeding of rabbits, and is said to be the unity holding the harmony and beauty of the universe) I say that my God is a great architect and mathematician that human kinds will never be able to fully decipher the magic of His creations.

One of his painting’s generated far more attention than the Mona Lisa - the last supper, was said to implicate hidden messages which were keys to intriguing secrets dying to be uncovered.

Take the person sitting on Jesus’ right. As some said it was the youthful looking apostle John, wild theorists say, looking at it closely gives an illusion of a bossom. It also looks far more feminine than the others with slender hands and all. Observing the tilt of this so - called woman and Jesus, you could trace that it forms an imaginary M (uh-oh, I hope I’m not spoiling the movie and the book to interested non readers and curious non-fans). Whether the M means marriage, Magdalene or something else we have no clue. My imagination however, brings me back to Ms. Arejola’s Humanities 1 class. I remember being taught to observe keenly on the technique Da Vinci utilized to show perspective (decreasing at the center to emphasize depth then looming large on the characters). That was Humanities, first year and boy I never imagined I’d still recall that since I wasn’t really that into paintings and all.. 

I wonder, if one of my classmates had also managed to come up with an idea similar to Brown’s and some other holy grail enthusiasts, supposing that, that classmate was bold enough to raise the idea then, would Ms. Arejola grant that student a one-point-oh admiring him for coming up with such clever and mind boggling never-before-thought-of-presumption using his observant eye (or wild meditation?) or would the teacher clutch her chest and gasp for air?

Moving forward, imaginative contemplators went as far as their excellent adobe photoshop skills could take them to move this person on Jesus’ right to his left suggesting that if this happens, (yeah I’m still ranting about the Last Supper painting) the woman would be leaning on Jesus’ shoulder perceptibly telling that they were intimate with each other.

Other observations that fueled the belief of a conspiracy would be the number of cups present on the table when the group, as described from the bible, should’ve been sharing only one chalice. Plus that unmistakable limb holding a knife when everyone else’s limbs were connected to their bodies.

There’s more to tell and it appears that even these art analysts and historians are divided in their views themselves. What is clear is that a number of confessions have been made (Plantard’s for one) on the fabrication of these so-called documents that some say could lead to the one unbendable proof of the existence of the holy grail even Jesus’ bloodline. Hmmm. Besides, the holy grail, which for years have been believed to be a chalice – a cup Jesus used during the last supper, was also the very same cup somebody used to catch drops of his blood from crucifixion, is really not a cup but instead a – (okay, get this,) wa symbolism for a woman – Mary Magdalene. Okay, I know some of you know that already, reading the book and all, just attempting to add some dramatic flourish to that. After all, we’re talking about great artists here, cons and non cons alike. Hehehe.

So anyway, I chose not to believe these speculations, instead form one of my own.

(Surgeon general’s warning: readeres are free to believe or better yet formulate one of your own. Lack of critical thinking is proven hazardous to health, judgment and well – being!)

1. In Da Vinci’s Last Supper painting - the person sitting at Jesus’ right side is - Leonardo himself.

Okay, I know he’s not one of the apostles, I don’t even know if he ever dreams or wishes he was born earlier and push his luck to become one, but folks, let’s give this mad artist a chance.

Everyone at certain points in their lives fantasizes of sitting close to Jesus. At times I even prepare my list of questions for Him to answer. Like some crazed reporter urging her way for the exclusive interview of a lifetime! Maybe what Leo lacked in journalism, he made up for in visual arts. Maybe he realized he could never muster enough self confidence sitting close to Jesus and that he’d waste a good chance because he’d get tongue tied! Hilarious? Okay, Leo was said to be a homo. If you guys ever catch a glimpse of the supposed woman in the supper painting and his Mona Lisa you could see that the paintings look strikingly similar.

While the rest of the world has proven that Mona is a man – having Da Vinci’s real features touched up, with maybe, Leonardo’s ideal youthful beauty, if he’d ever become a she physically that is! (Heck, everybody’s entitled to their own fantasies, like, I have my own idea of the perfect elbow I want Dra. Vicky Belo to graft on my real ones). Too bad plastic surgery wasn’t yet discovered back then so imaginations on canvass would have to do.

Either that or that was really Mona Lisa sitting beside Jesus. I personally don’t want to dwell into this one further for wild speculators would again begin to formulate a new theory that Jesus had an affair with Mona Lisa because he was captivated by her smile. Hmmmm. I’m gagging now, - that’s just too much!

Note that if you also are to look at the left side of the supper group there’s another person there, supposedly an apostle, but has Da Vinci’s face. It exactly resembles Da Vinci’s (as an old man) self portrait, long beard and all. Apparently this painter can’t get enough and painted himself on the scene twice. If I may dwell on this deeper, I think this assumption has already occurred to some theorists before. Only maybe they debunked the idea for they already saw Da Vinci on the far left on the painting, so dismissing the notion that the person on the right was him. Da Vinci was a man of wild imagination, mind boggling messages and clues, who wouldn’t say that he wasn’t capable of painting himself twice in two personas in this painting? This man must’ve had a reason and a personal meaning behind his artwork, let’s leave him to that. Too bad the psychoanalysts weren’t paying too much attention to him during his time, he sure could’ve used a conversation.

2. The mysterious hand on the painting was purely an artistic error. The artist was probably feeling sleepy and groggily tried to finish what he could still accomplish for the night (as the words deadlines! Deadlines! maybe ringing on his head) talk about pressure mixed with boredom, and predictability by doing the same activity over and over again – painting!

Probably when Da Vinci came back to work on his painting in the morning he was shocked to have miscalculated on the connection of the limbs to the bodies. (Time has proven that even great mathematicians make mistakes). Thinking of ways to cover the slip – up he drew a lot of cups and focused on sinking earth colors matching the table, complementing the limbs and the color of the apostles’ clothing. He was a master of illusions after all! And so looking at the painting for the first time (or abruptly,) an admirer could easily miss the mysterious hand. When ardent observers start to notice the mysterious hand however, Da Vinci calculated he’d already be dead by that time, easily escaping  further interrogation. Haha! ‘Heck! Let them all think what they want to think, secret messages, clues or conspiracies of some sort, I may have died but my legacy lives on’. Clearly, this man (or woman??) is full of artistic drama.

3. What triggered the sudden search for a cup? Seriously, it’s the people’s natural act to want to hold on to something precious, something that was once closely associated to their idols. Everybody loves a relic. Translated: something used, worn or just about anything that touched their idol’s skin. Hello? We see devoted fans dying to have an autograph of their idol on their shirts or exposed body part then bravely choosing to avoid the shower for as long as they can or risk erasing that well clamored signature. Plus, we have all seen well off NBA fanatics order their bet players’ used jerseys online, no matter how much it takes, so long as it is proven authentic.

Either all that or a lot of people just don’t know the real meaning of FAITH. People have always sought for something concrete to prove Jesus’ existence. The carnal man has always posed a consequence to God, demanding to see something concrete that will prove God is really the God who created everything, the Divine and all powerful one. If and only if, he sees it, will God earn his allegiance. DUH! Earthly brains will always be earthly brains!

Apart from that, people could also make zillions if they possessed a relic where Jesus’ dried blood could be found. Imagine gazillions of brilliant scientist wanting to scrape even the minutest fossilized dirt for DNA testing.

4. If you were smart enough, would you really believe that the clues and messages imbedded on Da Vinci’s last supper were the keys to the secrets of all secrets that could rock the world to its core? That it was holding a gist of the evidences proving Jesus’ marriage to Mary Magdalene and that they actually have descendants? For one, Da Vinci was a mere unformed floating molecule during Jesus’ time which was why he wasn’t able to witness the last supper first hand - so he was painting purely from what he had just read (from the bible most probably) or gathered from the religious teachers of his time. Unfortunately, Apostle John was too young to ever master the craft of painting in his time and as he grew old, he was already tasked to dwell on other far more important issues as Peter and the rest were also very very busy propagating the truth. My point is, those who shared the supper with Jesus are the only ones truly capable of depicting what really had happened during that dinner. Unless I hear it from Apostle Peter or Jesus himself, I would just treat the last supper as a piece of the great Da Vinci’s interpretation on canvass.

It’s just like, if somebody has experienced something awesome, another friend’s story of it is still incomplete as opposed to the story of the person who actually encountered it first hand. Obviously, this is why objective journalists hound the (real) person involved. Yet there is still no one who could tell the story as it really is. Like victims and suspects have different stories to tell in courts which is why everything is still subject to scrutiny and one’s own judgment – extracting the rest from plain gossip and hearsay.

5. Brown was challenging that everything in the dominant religion today are just scraps and puzzle pieces put together from an old belief. Something a powerful group organized to lead it’s people effectively using faith as a tool. So if everything about Christianity was all made it up, it’s distinctly implied in the book that Brown chose not to of subject himself to these collage of ideas. For Brown, they were just mere collations that the dominant society was successful enough to make billions of people believe for thousands of generations.

Brown was paving the way back to nature worship and that it’s not heresy as Christians have claimed it was, for paganism, as per Brown, was the very foundation of the Christian faith. A number of stuff from pagan worship were copied and refined to be introduced to the Christian culture. Brown was making this point but I clearly remember God abhorring idol worship since, since! Refer to the old testament in the Bible, and those where the times where God spoke directly to his people! Thousands and thousands of years ago.

Adam and Eve knew enough not to worship the sun. Abraham did not offer the finest lamb he could find to a tree, Noah didn’t even pray to the sea or the waters to secure the ark. God was speaking to His people directly that the mere sight of Him could kill them because He was so pure and Holy and the humans were not. These were the primitive of the most primitive times! Pagan worship was abound but God was vocal enough to tell his people that He was against it. Well, some would now ask me what my proof for all of this is, and when I point to the bible, I know I could easily be debunked with the classic argument – the bible was all made up by the powerful church leaders remember? Let me use your own argument against you? Were you there when all these happened? I’d say I wasn’t, but in my twenty four years of existence, when I asked a rock to provide me pizza it didn’t happen but when I begged the Father for some change to finally afford a pizza (on this one day when I really didn’t have anything left on my bank account and there were still five days of waiting to go before the month-end salary arrives) He gave! Don’t ask me to elaborate on this one as it would again involve several pages of writing to begin with, but God uses people and miracles – miracles that you only see when you resolve to seek Him everyday.

Why is it that we ignore Jesus because He’s perfect and God-sent but give Him our fullest attention come some scandalous scientific claims against His existence? I believe God deserves our attention for another reason, much much more than our earthly desires and the fringe benefits that come with serving Him.

I say Jesus was human enough to endure, feel and share with us the same humanly pain we feel here on earth but divine enough to withstand the temptation on the desert and go through where and what we can’t undergo. I mean any human, once he discovers he has supernatural abilities or some sort of telekinesis, would simply just make use of it to his advantage, to his comfort. If that was some other human with no food for forty days and nights, for sure it wouldn’t even take a blink to turn the stone into bread. Humans are prone to power trip. If you really want to see somebody’s true character, entrust him some power over people or money and see what he does with it.

Hunger makes humans resort to desperate acts. As I was saying, Jesus was human enough to feel the same hunger and pain but divine enough to withstand and escape the temptation in his humanly body because He was secure with His father. His Dad’s orders had to be carried out, and no other entity could make Him disobey. He loves His Father and His Father can provide Him the best and that was worth more than giving into the fleshy urge of eating the stone that seemed to suffer from an identity crisis – it wishes it was a bread.

Brown’s book though had introduced a whole new way of thinking. A whole new way not a whole new thinking! Something that makes you scrutinize what you believe. I did believe Brown when he said that every surviving tool today has been a product of a more dominant group’s influence. For example, if one group said the earth was star shaped and this group was rich and cunning enough to do outrageous things to make the scientists who had proven that the earth was oblate – spheroid to shut up, then our children would believe it is so for years. History is HIS – man’s (side of the) story!

Maybe the bible has been stripped off it’s original texts and that the powerful church people during those days decided what had to be included and what not to include according to the imagery of God in their standards, belief sets that they wanted the people to believe. The bible may not be real, the bible may be presumed to hold back from revealing the true character of God but for me it has proven to be one of the best self – help books around. For the rest of you guys, I don’t know – you’re freely entitled to your own story.

I still and I won’t ever give up reading the bible. I believe if you’re holding on to a very strong personal relationship with God, if man can ever master the capacity of loving Him unconditionally, as He loves us, then all other reasons don’t matter. After all, our human histories here on earth are more mind shattering than the intrigues in Jesus’ life these theorists are claiming. Talk about murder, adultery, satanic worship etcetera etc. Yet once we come back to God, all else fades, we’re a new person, ‘didn’t matter to Him the pain He felt when we chose to go astray. He still loves unconditionally.

Finally, as this is seemingly getting to be like a great long book review that could spark mixed emotions from the teacher who requires it (so long, this inconsiderate student, I still have plenty of reviews to grade! I’ll just give you a one point oh so you could shut the hell up!) there, I wrote my arguments aloud. Even prolonged it to torment you readers, ha-ha!

This book is a good read – if you both like breathtaking, the predictable and not so predictable twists in a treasure hunt setting. The final blow is that it inspired me to start my very own novel fueled by our own and timeless conspiracy – that Hitler is really Jose Rizal’s firstborn.

I’m excited already. But I have to make a lot (and I mean, a whole lot!) of research on this - down to tracing the identities of the bar girls Rizal (and the rest of our national heroes’ who also studied in Spain) had had wild rendezvous with.

Juan Luna will be the grand master of that secret society that protects Rizal’s bloodline for the Spaniards shall track them down and shut them up (as Ponciano - Rizal’s brother and Rizal’s mom would also be mad that while they are toiling away for his study fee abroad, Rizal was, all this time, saving up for the birth expenses of the woman he got pregnant). Luna’s Spoliarium shall carry within it, secrets proving Hitler and Rizal’s paternal connection. The blood Luna used to paint the spoliarium shall even be subjected to DNA testing. That the lamp which carried Rizal’s Mi Ultimo Adios poem is more than a carrier of that secret farewell poem but a key to a vault of riches and that it wasn’t really the true Jose Rizal subjected to the firing squad that fateful December day but a con artist. And Rizal just died some ten years ago. Breathtaking isn’t it? or purely crazy! On my book’s sequel, I shall tackle what fueled Hitler’s hatred that led him to do such grievous acts, holocaust and all – something about his growing up thinking he didn’t have a father and instinctive anger to Padre Damaso, which is why he eliminated all the Jews in one go. So twisted isn’t it? Priests aren’t even Jews! I’ll try to come up with the same wild idea and correlate Luneta, the old Senate building which now houses our national Museum, even the Quezon City circle if you may, etcetera etcetera. (wink!)

Book title? – My mind’s become oxygen deprived for the moment as I have already written ten pages of my random thoughts – Blue’s Clues is what I have in mind right now. I can’t really be serious right?? Okay, I’m starting to space out now…

We have to find another paw print..that’s our second clue! and put in in our notebook because it’s blues clues, they’re blues cluuuueees… Sing it with me now!

See, all of us have the capacity to draw something from our wildest imaginations. I just hope I’m creative enough like Dan Brown to link this indeed existing places with makeshift documents, people and theories.

And it is indeed true – everybody loves a conspiracy.

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REFERENCE GALLERY

that mysterious hand 

 a Smart Car! They have this in Paris, so small and can fit in even the most narrow alleys!

Harsh World?

“the law is harsh, but it is the law.” — after the numbing “Mr.speaker, may i explain my vote?” marathon,i can finally say that i feel sympathy for the opposition. i will give it to them for fighting a good fight and though they mourn for their loss,i think it’s time that we really move on. i dont like the idea of once again going to the streets, this wont end if the loser wont bow down. this is democracy, the majority has spoken and the truth is, it is a game of numbers.

apathy is bad, but fanning the already alarming fire is worse. =)

– this is such a good point, eunice